When a woman is married, it is easy to assume that she is never lonely and always has a teammate by her side. Unfortunately, not everyone is that lucky.....Read Full Article>>
According to a 2018 AARP national survey, one in three married people over the age of 45 report feeling lonely in their marriages.
Loneliness can stem from a lack of connection, communication, or effort on your or your partner’s end. Loneliness can manifest itself in various ways, but for women, marriage coach Grant Robe says there are three distinct signs that may indicate that they are feeling lonely.
The three things a wife will do when she feels lonely in her marriage, according to a marriage coach.
Marriage coach Grant Robe shared what husbands should look out for if they are worried their wives are lonely.
1. She does not share her feelings with you anymore
If there’s one thing we women love to do, it’s talk. Talk about our morning routines, talk about work, talk about what we ate for dinner, and most importantly, talk about how our morning routines, jobs, and meals make us feel.
We especially thrive on talking about our feelings with someone we love and feel comfortable around, such as a spouse. So when we suddenly clam up and stop talking, there is usually a troubling reason.
According to Robe, when a wife suddenly stops sharing her feelings with her spouse, she no longer feels as safe opening up as she once did.
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“You’ve created an emotionally insecure space at home, and she cannot open up within it,” the coach says regarding lonely women’s spouses. “Or she doesn’t feel like you actually listen to the things that she says, so she’d rather not say them.”
A communication breakdown is often the culprit of relationships falling apart. While we all have our off days where we may not want to listen, we should always allow our partners the space to say what is on their minds and make them feel safe enough to do so. If they feel as if you no longer hear them, home can become a very isolating place for them.
2. She doesn’t ‘nag’ you to do things anymore
While most spouses would be relieved if their wives suddenly stopped nagging them to do the dishes or help the kids with their homework, it is usually a sign of trouble. “This is her emotionally checking out. She feels completely alone and abandoned in the relationship, and she’s likely planning her exit,” Robe shared.
Sometimes, husbands may perceive their wives asking them to help out around the house as “nagging,” when in reality, without their reminders, the house would fall apart.
If your wife was once someone who was very vocal when she needed something done and she has abruptly gone silent, the Robe warned that it could signal a major “red flag” in your marriage.
3. There is a complete change in her behavior
Similar to the first two warning signs, when your wife’s usual behavior and habits completely change, it often indicates loneliness that she is struggling to work through.
“She was once vocal when she’s now silent. She once tried to do new things together and now she no longer tries. She was doing everything for the family, and now she’s taking care of herself and the kids, leaving you to your own devices,” Robe shared as a few examples.
“Whatever it is that she was doing before, if she is no longer doing it now, this is her way of saying, ‘I know you’re not here to save me. I know you’re not here to protect me, so I’m gonna look after myself.’”
The marriage coach stressed that even if your wife is exhibiting any of the three signs, it is not too late to turn things around.
Just talking to her is a crucial first step. Acknowledge her loneliness and promise her that you will make an effort to make her feel secure if you want your marriage to work.
Set aside time each day solely dedicated to your wife. Go out to dinner with her. Catch a movie together. Even just recapping your days with each other can make your wife feel less alone.
Amid work, kids, and the overall business of life, you may fall into the habit of overlooking your spouse and not giving them the same attention you used to.
Life can get busy but you should still always make an effort to prioritize your spouse and show them that you will always be there for them. Marriage is supposed to be about teamwork. It can be hard to carry a team when you are doing it alone.
